Today I have a special guest: career and personal coach Lola Hernández, who lives in Munich. She provides support to expats and their family members during their integration process. In addition, she gives workshops and lectures about Emotional Intelligence, Time Management and a variety of topics related to Personal Development. Lola was very kind to share her post in my blog, and for that I am very grateful: ¡Muchas gracias!.
In her post, she wrote about the challenges of integrating in your partner’s country/culture. I found this post very interesting and positive, and I hope you find it useful and share your opinions and experiences (how were your first encounters in the new country?, what challenges/difficulties did you find at the beginning of the integration process?, how did you overcome them?, what positive results/experiences did you get from all this?, etc.).
For more information about Lola Hernandez, please visit her blog at http://www.lolahernandezcoaching.wordpress.com (only available in Spanish).
Integration in your partner’s country
By Lola Hernandez
Translated by El Inmigrante
Many of us live in another country because of our partner. When you land in a country that is not yours, there is a long list of challenges waiting for you, like learning another language (not an easy job!), making friends from scratch and finding a job, which is something hard to do if you already have to deal with the first two challenges. To add more to the list, you also have to look for a place to live, a school for your children, social activities, etc…and let’s face it, time is not always your friend. Therefore, things can get complicated and it is very easy to feel overwhelmed.
In this transition, we also have to consider that when the social, economical and emotional conditions of living with your partner change, your self-esteem very often weakens and you experience a kind of “inferiority complex”, and suddenly you feel less than others.
The good news is that when you go through an experience like this, and you try your best and work very hard, you have a wonderful opportunity to experience real personal growth. You put your skills to test, discover hidden talents and recover forgotten resources that you had in you.
In your new country, you have the chance to put aside some aspects of you that were not working anymore and you can start a new life with new habits, new ways to do things and a new history. For example, if you were about to settle in your country, now you have the option to get out of your comfort zone and expand your possibilities of action. Maybe in your country, you had a job that didn’t satisfy you anymore, now you have a range of possibilities and options, that you might have not even considered while living in your own country.
In a recent workshop, Katia Pinal talked about bicultural couples. She said that when you leave your culture and you enter a different one, you can see both cultures as an outsider and choose the aspects of each culture that would fit you better. It takes time to practice this outsider’s view and it is a luxury; people who have never left their country don’t have this opportunity. So, you are a very lucky person!
You also need to see that you have a good situation waiting for you; you will develop your capacity to receive support and to delegate things that you used to, and do things you have never done before. All this is great, because you can put your skills, your competences and your employability into practice; you never know when you would use these tools in this very unpredictable life. So, if you were not used to ask for help or you found it difficult, now it is the time to polish this skill.
Warning: don’t rest on your laurels!…enjoy the support from others but don’t lose sight of your goals: prepare yourself and work on getting your autonomy and independence back in every aspect of your life.
If you would like to work on any aspect of your integration, you can always call me.
Successful integration – CC Image Courtesy of Daniela Hartmann in Flickr
El Inmigrante 